new work place...

when was my last entry for this blog? must be ages ago for i nearly forgot my password for my sign-in.

i have never feel this bad whenever i start the new job... this is probably the worst out of the 3 times. i am serious... I have always think that i have no problem breaking ice with strangers or colleagues... why does it feel so difficult this time?

on my first day of work, i felt abandoned cos colleague just left me alone in the IT dept to get my laptop & the rest just left for lunch. My first lunch @ work is to eat starbuck sandwich alone. i tried inviting myself to their lunch but how many times can i invite myself to their lunch? sometimes they just go off secretly... besides the weekend, PH and 2-day course, today is the 5th time that i eat alone at lunch within the 2 weeks.

i cant seem to join in in any part of the conversation. is that as good as being dumb? whatever activities they have, they dont ask me so i cant possibly gatecrash right? at this rate, i think i am suffering from depression soon...

长跑健将

你是否是个爱情长跑健将？久久都在爱情的跑道上与爱人慢跑？
我佩服这些在跑道上的情侣们。
或许是自己的性格，我从来都不觉得自己适合跑道。所以需要分隔两地的爱情，我不会考虑或需要与别人分享的，我更不可能接受。
在往公司途中，我在想，恋爱的情侣何尝不像跑道上的健儿？在开始跑的前200米，总是中气十足。恋爱的开始一定是甜蜜，所有的事都千依百顺，蓄势待发。跑的中途，你开始觉得气喘了。在感情上，双方开始看见对方的缺点，不时斗嘴。最后的500米，开始头晕，两脚无力，力不从心。生活中的点滴不满累计，大家怀疑、猜测对方，性格不合。

有些跑了许久也看不到终点。结果，有些选手中途就放弃，一直没有同步的到达终点；有些而继续勇往直前；有些还玩接力赛。少点毅力和恒心，真的还不可以。所以我是双手对在跑道上跑了又跑的人致敬！

虽然我可以是任何事只要能方便别人，我都可以。但是一谈到感情的话，我是绝对的完美主义者。有时我想我几时能看到终点？到终点有这么重要吗？

new found old friends

不知道是不是人年纪越来越大，开始老了，就开始念旧，找回已经失去联络的朋友。

最近因为Facebook迅速的普及化，许久不见及已经失去联络的小学同学逐渐的出现在我的生命中。也许当时年纪小，不懂人情世故，与同学们之间好像没什么很深的友谊。在小六离校后就几乎不曾有联络。

这也没什么不好，只是大家的生活中都不曾有对方，人生经验也截然不同。那现在碰上了，也不晓得能说些什么或该说什么好。就象刚刚才知道朋友的妹妹病魔缠身，明显地他也累了，我并不晓得能安慰什么。

有时候觉得不变也不是一件坏事。

itchy... scratchy...

you probably have no idea now how itchy and scratchy i am feeling... sigh...
i have been having hives since Sunday and apparently it is due to some allergy reactions which i thought was the seafood that i have been eating. When i was young, i used to have hives and followed by fever and it never last beyond 2 days or more.

however i have been plagued by it till today and it is getting much worse. it has been spreading to my arms as well. the medicine and the cream that i got from the doctor do not seem to help at all. i am just so resisting the temptations to scratch them or having hot water over it!

nevertheless, i am heading to national skin care centre to see a dematologist this afternoon... just consultation fees alone is the amount i paid for 2 jabs at the a&e raffles medical hospital... it has better be able to cure me off the hives...

學

一直以來所懷疑的，終于成真了。
幾許的失望，幾許的煩亂，幾許的尷尬
也許那也不是太坏的事，因爲事情總算是有個原因了。

我正在學放手，學視若無睹，是時候離開。

我突然好想去那已轉秋的台北

two's a company; three's a crowd

undeniably, at this point in time when i am typing this away, i firming believe the saying... Two's a company; Three's a crowd. this rule follows in friendship, relationshi etc - everything.

being three, you will inevitably leave out the third person as conversation is a 2-way and not a 3-way. Best combination is 1 speaker and 1 listerner.

i had the bulk of it tonight.

too tired to write

so much have happened

so many things to say

so much i have noticed

but

i am just way too tired to write everything down

all i want to do now is to have plenty of rest

and

whatever i cant stand looking at, will just change for better